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Welcome

Portentous Dream is home to Ritual of Chaos, a weekly somewhat regularly occuring "adventure" centered on the ramblings of an undead warlock hearthed in World of Warcraft.

It's also home to Skaynk the Infinite, the Alpha and Omega skank of WoW, leader of The Homonyms. And it includes random musings from the game as seen through the eyes of countless alts. Enjoy.

I Want My Raptor Back

By: Damian Lampl - 12/22/2010 9:58:09 AM

Shyt with her baby raptor
It's only pixels...

First a little prologue to set the stage.  Just when I was falling in love with my troll druid, I felt obligated to try out the worgen starting zone to be fair to my goblin.  Yes, I'm a bit of an altaholic.  So I figured since the goblin zone was so much fun, despite the fact I had to roll a mage, maybe the worgen would be, too.  And it was.  Maybe because she was a lock, but I think it would have been just as much fun as any other class.

So I had just parked my newly minted worgen warlock in Darnassus when WoW Insider wrote up a Know Your Lore on Sylvanas.  It's no secret I'm a big fan of Sylvanas so I took to heart the recommendation of playing through the new Forsaken starting zones before reading it to avoid any spoilers.  After orcs, undead are my favorite race to play and I've been meaning to take Shyt for a spin so the timing seemed perfect.

FULL ARTICLE

Ritual of Chaos - Deprecated Level Guide: 11-19

By: Damian Lampl - 12/5/2010 4:45:02 PM

Deprecated, Decapitated, Same Thing
I don't think it means what you think it means.

Unfortunately I wrote this well over a year ago and never finished the glyphs at the end so it's just a LITTLE out of date (although I did add some fun links I had no idea existed before like Razor Hill which is frickin amazing so YOU'RE WELCOME for including little gems like that).  But it's new reading material for you and that makes it new enough to post.  To make it up to you, I'll invite you to suck whatever body part of mine most interests you (no biting).

FULL ARTICLE

Pic of the Week - It Burnsssssssss.....

By: Damian Lampl - 12/5/2010 1:30:58 AM

It Burnsssssssss.....
Suddenly being Sephiroth's stunt double wasn't looking like such a good idea.

They said it couldn't be done, but good golly, you pulled it off. Who would have ever guessed a tauren could starve himself for nearly a year to slim down enough to land the role of stunt double to one of the greatest villains in video game history?

FULL ARTICLE

Untitled, Unfinished

By: Damian Lampl - 11/30/2010 9:37:53 PM

Wintergrasp
Just another day in Wintergrasp.

This was going to be my submission to a quasi-recent Blizzard writing contest that I never got around to finishing and don't foresee happening anytime soon.  So just enjoy what's there and don't get pissed that it just abruptly ends.

Untitled, Unfinished --

The sun rises over that frozen water like any other day.  Each cycle a repeat of the last.  Monotonous to some; eerily comforting to a soldier.  Repeating a day means you're still alive.  Well, at least breathing, anyway.  Time to do it all again.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: What's Wrong With This Picture?

By: Damian Lampl - 11/29/2010 12:27:14 AM

That bitch, Sylvanas
Repeat after me: double standard.

I'm falling in love with my troll druid.  For the record, I used to hate trolls, and I have some posts I really need to get uploaded already, explaining why that was the case; and why that case is changing.  At any rate, I was running her through the new and improved Shadowfang Keep (fucking awesome, by the way) when I was slapped in the face by irony.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: R.I.P. Lubes

By: Damian Lampl - 11/28/2010 1:04:48 AM

R.I.P. Lubes
Sometimes censor bars are a good thing.

Wow.  So Lubes didn't make it through waivers, either.  I swear she went through the first two rounds unscathed but apparently not.  It's probably fitting I suppose.  Poor thing.  She feels bad enough being one of like 5 dwarf priests and now this?  Her self esteem has to be horrible.  No, not whoreable; that's Horre's department.  Geeze, you're such a Homonym.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: Pic of the Week - Rainbows, Unicorns, and Cute Widdle Puppies

By: Damian Lampl - 11/26/2010 2:34:12 PM

By the power of Skankdom, I have the SKANKINESS!
By the power of Skankdom, I have the SKANKINESS!

Wielding the power of rainbow piss, shitting cute widdle puppy dogs, and patrolling the skies of Azeroth on her unicorn with its horn up her ass, Skaynk is keeping the World of Warcraft politically correct and safe from soulless prudes.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: Interview with a Skank and Whore

By: Damian Lampl - 11/24/2010 6:53:53 PM

Skaynk and Horre
Skaynk and Horre - The OMFG Unrated Version!

We sat down for a candid interview with a skank and whore (Skaynk and Horre, respectively) to pick their brains on what it's like being a skank or whore in WoW.  While engaging, be warned: we're interviewing a skank and a whore.  If you're a soulless prude, you might take offense to some of the things they have to say.  Because soulless prudes are like that.  Don't be a soulless prude.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: The Face of a Martyr

By: Damian Lampl - 11/21/2010 9:59:52 AM

Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms
Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms

I gave soulless prude a lot of grief in my Homonym lament, but I really need to sincerely thank that hollow human because now I'm able to use Skaynk's name in vain.  Sure it isn't as fun not being able to tool around Azeroth as the Skaynk of Silvermoon, but now I can immortalize her.  Maybe having to change her name will allow her the legacy she so clearly deserves.  Maybe now she can become more than a mere Skaynk.  More than just my Skaynk.  Maybe now she can become everyone's Skaynk, and as such, transcend skankdom into something even more skanky: a pop singer.

FULL ARTICLE

Skaynk: Pic of the Week - Let Skaynk Brighten Your Day

By: Damian Lampl - 11/20/2010 9:18:52 PM

Skaynk: Cheer up, man. Blizz has big plans for you.
Skaynk: Cheer up, man. Blizz has big plans for you.

Tirion Fordring, still dealing with being exiled, has just lost his son (partly due to Skaynk's actions). Find out how she makes him feel better, and ultimately becomes the true inspiration for Tirion to reform the Silver Hand, after the break.

FULL ARTICLE

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Ritual of Chaos

Delve into the void known as the warped mind of an undead warlock on a weekly pseudo-random basis. WARNING: Not for the squeemish or faint of heart.

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Skaynk the Infinite

Follow the trials and tribulations of a skank named Skaynk and her loyal band of Homonyms. WARNING: Not for soulless prudes.

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