Skaynk: The Face of a Martyr

By: Damian Lampl - 11/21/2010 9:59:52 AM

Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms
Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms

I gave soulless prude a lot of grief in my Homonym lament, but I really need to sincerely thank that hollow human because now I'm able to use Skaynk's name in vain.  Sure it isn't as fun not being able to tool around Azeroth as the Skaynk of Silvermoon, but now I can immortalize her.  Maybe having to change her name will allow her the legacy she so clearly deserves.  Maybe now she can become more than a mere Skaynk.  More than just my Skaynk.  Maybe now she can become everyone's Skaynk, and as such, transcend skankdom into something even more skanky: a pop singer.

That's the beauty in all this, Skaynk.  As a martyr for all skankdom, you can bring skanks into the spotlight.  Maybe OneNote will even consider "skank" a word.  Or better yet, consider Skaynk a proper noun.  Because if anyone is a proper skank, it's you, Skaynk.

In light of your newfound fame, Skaynk, I'm giving you an entire tag all your own (aptly named, "Skaynk").  So now anyone not offended by avatar names can see you for all your shining skankiness and/or glory. I'm also appointing you First Homonym, leader of the Homonyms. This will be your finest hour, Skaynk.  An hour with the same sixty minutes as every other hour, yet somehow timeless.  You, Skaynk, will become legend.

The pinwheels are in motion, Skaynk.  Soon your skank cred will spread you for to the farthest reaches of this planet.  Then, who knows, maybe aliens will take notice of your skankiness and build you a monument, because that's what aliens do.

The name, Skaynk, will ring throughout the universe as the skankiest song ever known, Skaynk.  Beautiful.  Brash.  Bold.  But the source of itching.  All who hear it will know and bow down to the Skaynk of skanks.  Forget, "of the Horde," Skaynk.  You will be, "the Infinite."  The Alpha Skaynk, and the Omega.  One Skaynk to rule them all, and in the skankiness, Skaynk them.

Long live Skaynk!


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