Skaynk: Interview with a Skank and Whore

By: Damian Lampl - 11/24/2010 6:53:53 PM

Skaynk and Horre
Skaynk and Horre - The OMFG Unrated Version!

We sat down for a candid interview with a skank and whore (Skaynk and Horre, respectively) to pick their brains on what it's like being a skank or whore in WoW.  While engaging, be warned: we're interviewing a skank and a whore.  If you're a soulless prude, you might take offense to some of the things they have to say.  Because soulless prudes are like that.  Don't be a soulless prude.

So, Skaynk, how does it feel to be a celebrity?

Skaynk: Well, it's very humbling, as you can tell by the new tag on the site along with an icon like the one for Ritual of Chaos (big fan, by the way).

Horre: Not to mention an entire section all to yourself.

Skaynk: Yeah, that was a nice touch.  So really I'm just trying to keep a low profile and everything.  Apparently not low enough since some soulless prude didn't like me and told mommy (Blizzard), "Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! This toon's name is NAUGHTY. Make them change it because seeing naughty homonyms on my computer screen makes my head asplode."

Why did someone report you?  Did you piss them off?  Any enemies?

Skaynk: You know, I really couldn't say.  I rarely even talk in game, let alone to anyone else.  Almost everything's in guild chat and we have an 'anything goes' chat policy so it wasn't a guildie.  I think I've been a very respectable skank in my nearly, what, four years now?  Wow.  I can't imagine what it must be like for you, Horre.

Horre: It's a little unnerving to be honest.  Whoring around with the same name for six years and then *poof* you're supposed to be someone else...

I'm told no one actually had a problem with you, Horre.  Is that correct?

Horre: Yeah, I was forced to change because I know Skaynk.  Guilt by association I guess.

Skaynk: Don't forget all the other Homonyms, either.  Some of them have been around almost as long as Horre.

Horre: A lot of The Homonyms are my sisters or very close friends.

And they all have "naughty" names?

Horre: I guess so.  I'll concede, a few of them are a little blatant, like Clytt, but some of the others like Nimf?  Really?  There's nymphs all over the game: giving quests, throwing snowballs at each other, they're everywhere.  And even my name is like a Spanish name or something I think.  I just didn't use that stupid accent mark above the "e" or it might have been ok.

Skaynk: It seems Blizz mainly cracks down on the sexual connotations, even though their policy states other inappropriate names include deities, product names, celebrities, and references to shit, among others.

Horre: There are tons of other toons who don't meet those criteria.  And how many shit quests are there in the game?  Or the Sons of Hodir dailies?  But I guess it comes down to a subjective line.

Where do you approach the line and when do you cross it?

Horre: Exactly.  It's fuzzy, just like my pussy after I towel her off when she gets wet.

*clears throat* Apparently Skaynk and Horre cross the line.

Skaynk: The only way it makes sense is if there is a skank on my server in denial who takes offense to the lifestyle we live.  Not me.  I'm proud to be a skank.

Clearly. What's the skankiest thing you've ever done?

Skaynk: Oh, where do I start?  I'm such a skank it's not even funny.  Name something skanky and I've likely done it.

Horre: I once had sex with my pussy.

...

Skaynk: ...

Um.. so.. where do Skaynk and Horre go from here?

Skaynk: I can only be myself, regardless of whatever letters are constantly hovering over my head.  Letters don't make the Skaynk.

Horre: Likewise.

So status quo?

Skaynk: Well, yeah.  I mean, look, some soulless prude took offense to a funny name in a video game as opposed to actually offensive names or the shit that goes on in every chat channel, battleground, you name it.  How messed up is that person to take offense to humor?  Last I checked, this was a game, and if someone's fun is truly being ruined because of a name like Skaynk?  If someone is truthfully offended by a funny name like that, there's way deeper issues in that person that they need to get sorted out with the help of a shrink.

Horre: And if they don't have deeper issues, they're just a terrible human being.  Simple as that.

Any regrets?  Anything you would do different had you to do it again?

Skaynk: I'm a skank.  I have no feelings.  No regrets.

Horre: Ditto. Except I'm a whore instad of a skank.

Thanks so much for your time, ladies.

Skaynk: My pleasure.

Horre: Yeah, I loved the photo shoot.  It was orgasmic! *bounce bounce bounce*


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