Skaynk: What's Wrong With This Picture?

By: Damian Lampl - 11/29/2010 12:27:14 AM

That bitch, Sylvanas
Repeat after me: double standard.

I'm falling in love with my troll druid.  For the record, I used to hate trolls, and I have some posts I really need to get uploaded already, explaining why that was the case; and why that case is changing.  At any rate, I was running her through the new and improved Shadowfang Keep (fucking awesome, by the way) when I was slapped in the face by irony.

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Skaynk: R.I.P. Lubes

By: Damian Lampl - 11/28/2010 1:04:48 AM

R.I.P. Lubes
Sometimes censor bars are a good thing.

Wow.  So Lubes didn't make it through waivers, either.  I swear she went through the first two rounds unscathed but apparently not.  It's probably fitting I suppose.  Poor thing.  She feels bad enough being one of like 5 dwarf priests and now this?  Her self esteem has to be horrible.  No, not whoreable; that's Horre's department.  Geeze, you're such a Homonym.

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Skaynk: Pic of the Week - Rainbows, Unicorns, and Cute Widdle Puppies

By: Damian Lampl - 11/26/2010 2:34:12 PM

By the power of Skankdom, I have the SKANKINESS!
By the power of Skankdom, I have the SKANKINESS!

Wielding the power of rainbow piss, shitting cute widdle puppy dogs, and patrolling the skies of Azeroth on her unicorn with its horn up her ass, Skaynk is keeping the World of Warcraft politically correct and safe from soulless prudes.

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Skaynk: Interview with a Skank and Whore

By: Damian Lampl - 11/24/2010 6:53:53 PM

Skaynk and Horre
Skaynk and Horre - The OMFG Unrated Version!

We sat down for a candid interview with a skank and whore (Skaynk and Horre, respectively) to pick their brains on what it's like being a skank or whore in WoW.  While engaging, be warned: we're interviewing a skank and a whore.  If you're a soulless prude, you might take offense to some of the things they have to say.  Because soulless prudes are like that.  Don't be a soulless prude.

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Skaynk: The Face of a Martyr

By: Damian Lampl - 11/21/2010 9:59:52 AM

Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms
Skaynk the Infinite, and The Homonyms

I gave soulless prude a lot of grief in my Homonym lament, but I really need to sincerely thank that hollow human because now I'm able to use Skaynk's name in vain.  Sure it isn't as fun not being able to tool around Azeroth as the Skaynk of Silvermoon, but now I can immortalize her.  Maybe having to change her name will allow her the legacy she so clearly deserves.  Maybe now she can become more than a mere Skaynk.  More than just my Skaynk.  Maybe now she can become everyone's Skaynk, and as such, transcend skankdom into something even more skanky: a pop singer.

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Skaynk: Pic of the Week - Let Skaynk Brighten Your Day

By: Damian Lampl - 11/20/2010 9:18:52 PM

Skaynk: Cheer up, man. Blizz has big plans for you.
Skaynk: Cheer up, man. Blizz has big plans for you.

Tirion Fordring, still dealing with being exiled, has just lost his son (partly due to Skaynk's actions). Find out how she makes him feel better, and ultimately becomes the true inspiration for Tirion to reform the Silver Hand, after the break.

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Skaynk: R.I.P. Homonyms

By: Damian Lampl - 11/19/2010 1:57:02 PM

The Homonyms
From left: Clytt, Nimf, Shyt, Sluhtz, Lezzi, Strippa, Skaynk, Teat, Tuat, Horre

Well, unfortunately Strippa and Shyt didn't pass the "inappropriate" test, either.  So ten toons got the name change hammer, all of them chicks.  I think Blizzard is sexist.

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Skaynk: R.I.P. Horre

By: Damian Lampl - 11/18/2010 9:55:42 AM

I'll always remember you and your pussy, Horre
You were my first, Horre.

You deserve more, Horre.  More than practically an after-thought in Skaynk's lament.  Believe me, Horre, you are no after-thought.  You were my first main alt and that alone entitles you to this space.  Six years you walked the Azeroth, proudly bearing your whorish name.  Only a true whore could pull off such a feat with grace and elegance, Horre.  You truly are a Horre to remember.

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Skaynk: R.I.P. Skaynk

By: Damian Lampl - 11/17/2010 8:55:31 PM

R.I.P. Skaynk (2007-2010)
You're my one and only, Skaynk.

I'll miss you, Skaynk.  You just won't be the same toon by any other name.  I wanted to make you, "of the Horde" but had to settle for, "of Silvermoon."  All the same, you're still my number one Skaynk.

I'll miss the countless quests where the NPC would say your name and make me chortle during some mindless grinding.  The double-takes from all the faction leaders as you'd walk by in nothing but your underwear (Sylvanas always stared the longest).  The bitch-slapping you'd give toons to whom which, "you never!"  The gasps.  The laughs.  All of it, Skaynk.

All of it will be missed.

FULL ARTICLE


Skaynk: What's In A Name?

By: Damian Lampl - 11/16/2010 10:37:29 PM

There is no shit
Words only have the meanings we give them.

I am fucking livid right now.  I haven't had much of a chance to play lately and I'm trying to get Tripping the Rifts on as many toons as possible.  Well, tonight I tried signing in to do that for my blood elf paladin but was unable to.  Why?  I get a popup telling me she has been flagged for rename.

Seriously.

I've been playing since open beta somewhere around six years ago now.  I made this toon very near the beginning of The Burning Crusade expansion and that was almost FOUR YEARS AGO already.  I have never changed the name of this toon, meaning it's had the exact same name for that entire time.

But now all of a sudden it needs to be changed?  No.  I call bullshit.  It is in absolutely no way offensive to ANYONE on the planet and that's the only fucking excuse I can see Blizzard trying to throw in my general direction.  It is total, absolute, and complete BULLSHIT.

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