Skaynk: R.I.P. Homonyms

By: Damian Lampl - 11/19/2010 1:57:02 PM

The Homonyms
From left: Clytt, Nimf, Shyt, Sluhtz, Lezzi, Strippa, Skaynk, Teat, Tuat, Horre

Well, unfortunately Strippa and Shyt didn't pass the "inappropriate" test, either.  So ten toons got the name change hammer, all of them chicks.  I think Blizzard is sexist.


Ritual of Chaos - Sarcasm is Sarcastic

By: Damian Lampl - 11/19/2010 12:29:34 AM

Too.. much.. pink...
There's clearly a design flaw when LSD is required to cleanse the visual palette.

I LOVE Eye of the Storm.  "Then why don't you marry it?  Ter her herr," you snidely snort.  Well, smartypants, you're in luck because I DO, in fact, love it so much that I bought it a flag and you're all invited to our wedding which will take place the next time you queue for a random battleground.  The reception will be held during your next random battleground after the wedding random battleground, and the honeymoon will be the following random battleground after the reception random battleground.


Skaynk: R.I.P. Horre

By: Damian Lampl - 11/18/2010 9:55:42 AM

I'll always remember you and your pussy, Horre
You were my first, Horre.

You deserve more, Horre.  More than practically an after-thought in Skaynk's lament.  Believe me, Horre, you are no after-thought.  You were my first main alt and that alone entitles you to this space.  Six years you walked the Azeroth, proudly bearing your whorish name.  Only a true whore could pull off such a feat with grace and elegance, Horre.  You truly are a Horre to remember.


Skaynk: R.I.P. Skaynk

By: Damian Lampl - 11/17/2010 8:55:31 PM

R.I.P. Skaynk (2007-2010)
You're my one and only, Skaynk.

I'll miss you, Skaynk.  You just won't be the same toon by any other name.  I wanted to make you, "of the Horde" but had to settle for, "of Silvermoon."  All the same, you're still my number one Skaynk.

I'll miss the countless quests where the NPC would say your name and make me chortle during some mindless grinding.  The double-takes from all the faction leaders as you'd walk by in nothing but your underwear (Sylvanas always stared the longest).  The bitch-slapping you'd give toons to whom which, "you never!"  The gasps.  The laughs.  All of it, Skaynk.

All of it will be missed.


Skaynk: What's In A Name?

By: Damian Lampl - 11/16/2010 10:37:29 PM

There is no shit
Words only have the meanings we give them.

I am fucking livid right now.  I haven't had much of a chance to play lately and I'm trying to get Tripping the Rifts on as many toons as possible.  Well, tonight I tried signing in to do that for my blood elf paladin but was unable to.  Why?  I get a popup telling me she has been flagged for rename.


I've been playing since open beta somewhere around six years ago now.  I made this toon very near the beginning of The Burning Crusade expansion and that was almost FOUR YEARS AGO already.  I have never changed the name of this toon, meaning it's had the exact same name for that entire time.

But now all of a sudden it needs to be changed?  No.  I call bullshit.  It is in absolutely no way offensive to ANYONE on the planet and that's the only fucking excuse I can see Blizzard trying to throw in my general direction.  It is total, absolute, and complete BULLSHIT.


Skaynk: Pic of the Week - Advice

By: Damian Lampl - 10/26/2010 11:24:15 PM

Thrall, Saurfang, and Me
...and I would say to you: Thrall, upgrade your armor FFS.

Jimminy Christmas, Thrall. It's been what, six YEARS now? Time to solo an instance or two.


Deathwing Cometh

By: Damian Lampl - 10/18/2010 12:03:05 PM

I don't get it, Blizzard.  I really don't.  We're supposed to HATE the villains in your games, no?  Rar, rar, Illidan hanging out not bothering anyone in a castle in another dimension.  Rar, rar, Arthas killing humans.  Rar, rar, Putress killing everything.  Seriously.  Illidan is cool and simply misguided, Arthas* is one of my favorite characters in the history of Warcraft, and even Putress is likeable if for no other reasons than his voice and whatever he has going on for a head.  So I'm sorry to continue pulling for the "evil" team, but Deathwing is f---ing AWESOME!  With all capital letters and an exclamation point AWESOME!


Welcome Home

By: Damian Lampl - 10/6/2010 12:12:27 PM

Randy Moss
Back where he belongs.


Finally. No more waiting for highlights on

Finally. No more hoping the Patriots are on CBS and play at a different time than the Vikings.

Finally. Randy Moss is a Viking again.


New Features

By: Damian Lampl - 5/6/2010 3:38:53 PM

New Features

It's been a while since I've added any new functionality to the site.  The excitement of the new Cataclysm screens leaked on MMO Champion helped... catalyze (horrible pun, I know) me into actually uploading the latest stuff.

A full list of stuff to make the site (hopefully) better after the break.


Cataclysm Screens

By: Damian Lampl - 5/6/2010 2:20:30 PM

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm
Deathwing sighting...

It's no secret I'm excited for Cataclysm to come out and the latest screens posted on MMO Champion have only ramped up my anticipation.  Normally I try to shield myself a little bit from the spoilers because 1) things are still being changed and tweaked and I'd prefer to not expect one thing only to have it be completely different when the game is released anyway, and 2) it's fun for me to explore from scratch when the new game comes out and to see things in-game for the first time.  I can still remember being in awe of the atmosphere they created in a video game during my initial impression of Orgrimmar.  It was beautiful.  The city felt alive, massive, nearly overwhelming and my orc warrior knew he was home.

But for some reason I couldn't help myself in stealing a peek at the Cataclysm alpha screens.  And I'm glad I couldn't.  It will still be a fun experience stepping into a "new" Azeroth when Cataclysm hits, and checking out the early screens merely whets the apatite for more.  It's pretty amazing that after more than five years, this game continues to improve and maintain the interest of so many people.

If you're like I used to be and want to save as much surprise for the game's release as possible, don't read the rest of this article.


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Ritual of Chaos

Delve into the void known as the warped mind of an undead warlock on a weekly pseudo-random basis. WARNING: Not for the squeemish or faint of heart.

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